Childless aunt realizes her siblings secretly agreed to stop buying gifts for each other’s children, leaving her as the only gift-giver for a huge group of grand-nieces and nephews, sparking family drama: 'It feels like I’m carrying the family Christmas'

Not only do many girls grow up excitedly awaiting motherhood, but I think equally, a lot of women really look forward to becoming an aunt. That way, you get to put so much love into your nieces and nephews' lives without ever having to play the role of 'bad cop'…leaving discipline to their parents while you handle the fun. In their eyes, you simply become the cuddly gift-giving, game-playing woman who 'looks a lot like mom.'…But not every aunt gets to take on the role of being the ultimate gift-giver, especially this Christmas…

Last year, this child-free aunt was left feeling out of the loop after noticing that there were far fewer gifts under the Christmas tree. Until discovering that her siblings had simultaneously agreed not to buy gifts for each other's children, as their extended family was growing tremendously over the years…The thing is…No one seemed to inform her about this 'Christmas shift.' While she was running around buying gifts for every niece and nephew under the sun, she had failed to notice that she had been the only one doing so… 

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  • As Christmas rolls around, she’s finally refusing to play Santa Claus. Why should she be responsible for “holding up” the extended family’s celebration just because everyone else celebrates at home? She feels guilty that the kids might miss out on gifts, since their parents refuse to buy for nieces and nephews, excluding their own children, and she’s always been willing. But this year, she’s saying no to being the sole gift-giver… and honestly, why should she have to be?

  • Sad young girl sitting by the Christmas tree
    via gettysignature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • AITA if I stop buying Christmas presents?

    I'm the youngest of five and have no kids of my own, but my four brothers and sisters all have many kids (4, 2, 2, 4), and those 12 nieces and nephews all have 8 kids of their own.
    via Bizzack
  • We used to always buy presents for each other's kids, so I naturally started getting gifts for their kids.
    via Bizzack
  • A few years ago, I realized that practically no gifts were opened at all... but I didn't think much of it.
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  • The next year it happened again and I found out that my siblings got together and agreed that they would stop buying gifts for each other's kids because our family was growing.
    via Bizzack
  • They didn't tell me and the only thing said was, "You just now realized it?" I was a little upset they didn't include me.
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  • But I get it, I don't have any kids of my own, but I've always bought gifts and they know it.
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  • Child hugging her aunt to thank her for the Christmas gift
    via yuganovkonstantin

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The past couple years has actually lead to a few incidents of the kids crying because if I messed up in what they opened, then that was basically it for their Christmas at the family get together.
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  • They will still get gifts at their parents or grandparents home, but at our family Christmas?
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  • That's all. It feels like I'm carrying the family Christmas now. The kids are not to blame for their parents spending habits, I love them and always been happy making them happy, but now it feels like an obligation and it's expected of me.
    via Bizzack
  • International-Fee255 NTA Quick message into the family group chat: hi everyone, following your decision not to purchase gifts for everyone I will be following suit, please let children know there won't be any gifts coming this year, looking forward to celebrating family with you all.
    via International-Fee255
  • utahforever79 NTA. But those parents are for not teaching gift opening etiquette. Everything opened should be met with happiness and thankfulness, even if it's not "what they wanted".
    via utahforever79
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  • BethE4Jesus The thing that stopped me in my tracks was that they didn't tell you. I am also the youngest of five and I feel like I am the last to know anything. It's really annoying.
    via BethE4Jesus
  • Julie-AnneB NTA - If they're getting gifts at other houses, you don't need to "carry Christmas." That said, if the family is that large, why not do a gift exchange where everyone draws a name? That way, each person buys and receives ONE gift. In my family, we made it into a huge game where gifts could be stolen after they were opened. It was always the highlight of the night. For the smaller kids, we played the saran wrap ball game and numerous others. There could be craft projects for the kids,
    via Julie-AnneB
  • NTA teresajs If no one else is exchanging/giving gifts, then you should not be doing so either.
    via teresajs
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  • Two women having a serious discussion on their couch
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  • Jerseygirl2468 NTA they absolutely should've told you when they decided to no longer exchange gifts. And when there's that many people involved, it should be group gifts or draw names.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • Endsln-ing Stop buying them presents. That would have been a lot of gifts for everyone (for you to buy, and the parents to have to bring into their home). As a parent, it also sounds like a nightmare. You feel it is on you to bring Christmas, but the soft truth to you is that the 'Christmas' these kids celebrate is at their parents' houses, not at your larger family gathering. If you are single or otherwise this is your primary 'family Christmas', it could be a matter of you viewing this event d
    via Endsln-ing
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  • ImpossibleAdvice8694 I called it "The Auntie Tax". I have 16 nieces and nephews. I used to buy for everyone. As the kids got older, thier parents suggested cash would be best I told the kids, sorry. There is no fun in just handing out money. I feel like I have to pay a tax to just be part of the family at Christmas. If anyone wants to exchange gifts, I am in.... otherwise no! I did pay for a family holiday, helped with college, travl. A one time gesture then done. I now spend holidays with frien
    via ImpossibleAdvice8694
  • GOAT-Antony You are definitely not an asshole. You have no obligation to buy any gifts for your nieces & nephews at Christmas since its up to their parents. They have full resposability for their own kids. Your hard earned money should be prioritized on things you want and not anyone else.
    via GOAT-Antony
  • Ogolble Nta. If you want to buy them gifts, then do it, just dot do it out of supposed obligation
    via Ogolble
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  • Angelf1shing They're not your kids do you don't need to buy for them if you don't want to. Give a gift if you'd like to though, don't cut your own joy off just because other people are viewing it as an obligation.
    via Angelf1shing

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